


just a little hush, babe

by begforyourmercy



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleep Deprivation, stress crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 20:45:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/begforyourmercy/pseuds/begforyourmercy
Summary: Kylo can't fall sleep, and Hux can't sleep without him.





	just a little hush, babe

**Author's Note:**

> trying to overcome a serious battle with writer's block these past few months. it's short, but i hope the sweetness in it makes up for all of this mess. 
> 
> \- mercy

If it weren’t the middle of the night, he might have gotten away with it.

 

Kylo Ren stands alone in the dark. Before him, held back by seven dense layers of plasteel and glass, is the vast expanse of space - dark and glittering and so very, very big. Behind him, the door to his bed chambers. The thin black panel that separates him from the other side is left open just a crack: closed enough that it looks shut, but when opened again, won’t make any noise and wake up the peacefully sleeping person just beyond it. That’s the last thing Kylo wants right now. Not now, when the soft snoring he left behind is still going, and his mind far too loud.

 

He’s thinking. He’s  _ worrying _ , really, but he’ll limit to just calling it thinking. Brewing on thoughts too dark and devastating to let run rampant during the day, but now that it’s the night cycle, with his exhaustion and agitation from the day starting to seep in, he can no longer keep them leashed on a chain. There is so much that he knows he has accomplished, so much he should be mindful and perceptive and  _ proud _ of - but with each thing he does right, so much more seems to slip through his fingers in the form of failure. So he slips out of bed in the middle of the night - he wasn’t sleeping anyway - and allows himself time to sink down and simmer in the midst of his thoughts. He thinks, he stresses. And he hopes and prays above all that that door doesn’t open.

 

Outside the window, space is everlasting. Unchanging with every passing parsec. Kylo stands still as stone; stews in a weary haze.

 

The door creaks. Then it opens. 

 

“Can’t sleep?”

 

Hux’s voice is run ragged from disuse, but soft enough to send a soothing chill down Kylo’s spine. He turns a hair to his left and peers over his shoulder; sees the slender figure of his love, with his hair mussed and nightclothes rumpled and eyes still puffy from slumber. The dim glow of the night mode fluorescents cast him in a dreamy, ghostlike light, reminiscent of the spectral anomalies that light up the farthest corners of galaxies. His very own angel of deep space, drowsy and ethereal. 

 

Kylo drinks him in for a moment, then turns back to the window - his eyes flicking back to the deep blackness of the universe to swiftly tuck away any and all signs of stress and worry. “Something like that,” he murmurs absently. 

 

The door squeaks again as Hux props it open. “Something out there catch your eye?”

 

“Just admiring the night time view.”

 

Soft, slow feet pad across the floor.

 

“See, here’s the thing about space,” Hux mumbles, coming closer and closer in the lull of the night, “if you wait until the morning, it looks exactly the same.”

 

When thin arms slide around his waist, Kylo lets out a soft sigh. Hux’s hands intertwine around his middle, and he feels the soft pressure of Hux’s cheek coming to rest against the back of his neck; he’s still carrying with him the warmth of their bed, and the heady scent of sweat that only comes with the deepest of sleep lingers in the air. Kylo feels his heart tug in remorse at waking him, knowing how rare it is that he gets any sort of meaningful rest. He’s working so hard right now - long hours, strenuous tasks, staring at screens until his eyes burn. But the damage has already been done. He’s awake, and he’s here, body pressed up against him as if he’s been here all this time.

 

“I know, I know,” Kylo admits - his words stuttering, as he feels Hux’s exhales tickle the back of his neck ever so lightly. “But this couldn’t wait.”

 

“Just like last time.” Hux pulls one hand back from his waist, and a moment later, Kylo feels his fingers reconnect as they comb through the inky strands of his hair. “And the time before. And the time before that…”

 

Kylo sighs again. Weariness is starting to wear down his bones, but still not his eyes, and they stare steadily ahead at the blackened vastness before him. How he wishes they would close, and give him some sort of reprieve; how he wishes Hux’s warm, sleepy presence would do him even an ounce of good. Love, being in love, being with the one you love - it was supposed to bring peace to your soul. But some fears of the mind overpower even that, it would seem. 

 

“What is it?” Hux asks.

 

“It’s nothing,” Kylo replies. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

 

A beat of silence; a lull that no one bothers to fill. 

 

“I don’t expect you to tell me what’s keeping you up,” Hux whispers, voice muffled as his cheek squishes into Kylo’s nape. His nimble fingers twirl a lock of hair absentmindedly; the hand still around his middle rubs back and forth over his abdomen in slow, soothing circles. “You never do. But if it helps, I’ll stay here with you all night.”

 

Kylo catches the guilt trip fast. He turns in Hux’s arms, brings him close with his own arms looped around Hux’s waist. Their foreheads touch together, and for a moment, both of their eyes drift closed; they just breathe, so slow and calm and so,  _ so _ worn down to the bone that he almost gives in to his offer, so long as they spend all night just like this. But at last, Kylo says, “No, it’s nothing. Just go back to bed.”

 

“Only if you come, too,” Hux replies, just as stubbornly.

 

Kylo shakes his head. “You need the rest more than I do-”

 

“What I need is  _ you _ ,” Hux cuts him off, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye and show him just how earnest and sincere this very moment is meant to be. A soft palm is gently laid against Kylo’s cheek, thumb rubbing a soothing path onto his stubbled skin. “I need you to stop shutting me out.”

 

Kylo stares - sees the twinkling lights of the universe reflected in his pupils, sees everything he’s fighting for and fighting against combined into one. The crushing hand of the galaxy coming down harder and faster than ever, destined to fantastically and devastatingly ruin everything he’s ever built or worked toward or hoped or prayed for. It’s too much to bear all at once.

 

“Is it me?” Hux asks. “The war? The Force?”

 

Kylo shakes his head. It’s strange, but he feels laughter starting to bubble up in his throat, welling like spring water at the back of his mouth. His chest stutters, and his lungs cave as he fights to keep this morbid outburst contained. It’s only when he can’t hold it back that he realizes this isn’t laughter, but the painful contractions of sobs, and there was never any hope of keeping them at bay as tears suddenly run rivers down his face. His hands rush to cover them, to hide this unexpected sign of weakness from Hux - but it’s too late. The sudden rush of emotion is too unexpected to hide. 

 

“Oh, love,” Hux breathes, and suddenly he’s grabbing hold of both his hands and guiding him back into the safety of their bedroom, where the door shuts and the world goes full dark. The sheets have gone cold by now, but Hux pulls them up anyway, swallowing the two of them up in softness as he pulls Kylo close. Hux’s cheek is laid against his own; an intimate, soft embrace envelopes Kylo’s whole body when Hux wraps his long limbs around him. “What is it?” he asks, stroking Kylo’s hair. 

 

Kylo pulls back, struggling for breath; he hiccups once, twice. “I’m worried,” he finally chokes out. “That I can’t keep you safe.”

 

And that’s it - that’s the brevity of it, when the excess is hacked and torn away. The war drags on and on, taking up more of their time, resources, and patience; brushes with death are shifting from months apart to happening within spans of weeks, sometimes days. The Resistance is targeting them with every ounce of fight and fury they’ve got - with Kylo’s and Hux’s faces plastered on a metaphorical, galactic-wide dartboard. They’re coming for them fast and hard. 

 

And Kylo keeps failing. 

 

Fight after fight, ground slaughter to space battle. The strength and raw power that could once decimate entire civilizations now can only keep the chaos at bay, held back just long enough to surge forward again. It’s a bitter, bloody stalemate, a limit met over and over again that makes him grit his teeth in acute frustration. The gears are grinding ever to a halt. He has no idea what it’ll take to get them going again. 

 

The Rebels will come for him soon - the bane of their existence saved for last, no doubt  - but not before they take Hux. Hux, the cold and calculating head of the First Order, cruel and uncaring on the surface. Hux, who kisses so sweetly and talks so softly and rubs his back in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep. Hux, who is all he has left. 

 

His Hux. His Armitage. 

 

Kylo blubbers his way through his muddled thoughts aloud, half-coherent and rushed as he cries and cries. He can’t stop himself, can’t calm down - and even if he could, he wouldn’t have any idea what else to do with himself. He curls his body around Hux and clings to him for dear life, while Hux draws him in even closer as if to leach the pain out from underneath his skin. Kylo’s breath burns, his chest aches; he thinks each sob will be the last one until the next one comes, cresting like a wave before crashing down on top of him.

 

Maybe it’s because it’s the middle of the night, and because he was asleep only minutes ago, but the pure, undeterred calm Hux exudes is what eventually soothes Kylo. “Shh, it’s alright,” Hux whispers again and again, hands gently stroking Kylo’s face to wipe away the flurry of tears that continue to fall. “It’s alright, love.”

 

“It’s not.” Kylo shakes his head fervently before burying his face in Hux’s shoulder. “I’m supposed to keep you from getting hurt, it’s my  _ job _ to -”

 

“And you’ve done it,” Hux interjects. He kisses him softly above the ear - one, two, quick pecks on the side of the head. “You’ve kept me alive all this time.”

 

“But the Rebels-”

 

“I know, dear. I know what they’re planning.”

 

“They’ll come after you-”

 

“- and I know that you’ll protect me.”

 

Kylo swallows air, thick and painful. “... and if I can’t?”

 

Hux shifts in his arms at this, pulling back and curling one finger underneath Kylo’s chin to tilt it toward him; as his eyes have adjusted to the dark, he can just faintly make out Hux’s features, see his solemn gaze and sincere-set mouth. “Kylo, dear,” he murmurs, “Look at me. I want to tell you something I know for sure.”

 

Kylo waits, silent. Hux’s eyes are stars in the night sky.

 

“If you can’t keep me safe from them,” he says at last, “then no one can. But nothing can keep them safe from  _ you _ .”

 

The last remaining tears finally begin to drip down. Hux wipes them away.

 

“I don’t want to die - hells no, I want to  _ win _ ,” Hux continues, as Kylo is hanging on his every word, “but they just might have the upper hand in the end. If I do go down in this fight, I at least know damn well that I’ll be avenged by the one I love. I think I can rest easy with that, right?”

 

“But… But I...” Kylo’s head is spinning, overtired and overstimulated beyond comprehension. He’s lost in space - catapulting through thoughts too fast to understand them. “Hux, I can’t live without you… I just-”

 

“Dear,” Hux cuts in, quiet but firm. “It’s the middle of the night. Are the Rebels attacking us right now?”

 

“… No.”

 

“Am I in danger?”

 

Kylo shakes his head.

 

Hux lets out a breathy, exhausted laugh. “Then don’t worry about the future, love. If everything is okay right now, then everything is okay.”

 

A wave of warmth washes over Kylo as Hux’s words sink in. Kylo leans in and kisses him deeply, hands holding onto his face, wanting to bring him closer and closer until they both melt into one. There has never been anything he’s loved more than Hux, and he’s never loved him more than he does in this very moment - his strong, wise general, saying all the right things at all the right times. When the weight of the world on his shoulders became too much to bear, Hux was there to hold him up. There to remind him that he didn’t have to carry it alone - and when needed, there to remind him that he didn’t have to carry it at all. “I love you,” he whispers gratefully as their lips finally part. “I love you so much… so much, Hux.”

 

“I love you, too,” Hux replies, sounding just as awestruck. 

 

They settle down together once more - all wrapped up in each other, faces tucked into shoulders and necks, as close as their bodies allow. Breathing in sync as the creaks and aches in their bones begin to soften. Outside the ship rests the whole of space: unchanging for now, but with danger and uncertainty looming just beyond what the eye can see. Tonight though, all they’re worried about is the sound of each other’s heartbeats keeping time together in gentle harmony.

 

Just before sleep comes to claim them, Hux nuzzles Kylo’s ear, halfway rousing him again. “We have what we have, when we have it,” Hux whispers, words soft and sweet and separated by the lightest of kisses placed on Kylo’s cheeks, eyes, nose - everywhere. “I’m here  _ now _ . So keep me safe. And sleep, love.  _ Sleep _ .”

 

Kylo holds Hux all night, not once letting go. He sleeps soundly until morning comes. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this, check out my tumblr @begforyourmercy to see me be more star wars trash :)


End file.
